Consider yourself warned. If you read this and are offended, it's your own darn fault. Now I am older than half of you, and I am confident to disseminate the vast years of wisdom under my belt. You may, if you care to, peruse these utterly priceless bits of wisdom that I, in my vast arrogance--- have determined you cannot live without.....
1. You can end a sentence with a preposition without trashing your writing style if you really want to.
2. Keep any insanely trendy clothing, it WILL be back. Or be hilarious. Either way, it's useful. And send me any laughable pix, please.
3. Don't waste ANY time or energy on anyone who has their name stamped on the handle of the knives sticking out of your back. Even if they're related. Obligational relationship is an oxymoron.
4. It is well worth finding out who these people are and unloading them from your life.
5. Sushi is amazing. There are hundreds of varieties, don't tell me you hate it unless you have tried ALL of them. And wasabi rocks. I'm turning Japanese......I really think so.
6. Religious people and institutions are capable of keeping people in a kind of bondage that nothing else is capable of because they can claim God's will and threaten hellfire and brimstone.
7. It is okay with God that I am sarcastic and cynical. Really. I mean it.
8. Nerds always win in the end. Sorry jocks and cheerleaders. You are reading this on your computer or Blackberry and that is how I know I am right about this.
9. Many people lived out their glory days in high school, I just started mine a couple years ago.
10. What doesn't kill you really DOES make you stronger, but also more cynical.
11. Pink Floyd "Animals" is about corporations, but it could just as easily be about the institutional church.
12. I lose my phone several times a week.
13. The gay friends I have are some of the nicest, non-judgmental people I know.
14. Auto-tune can be used to induce vomiting.
15. No matter WHAT you do, there will always be people who hate you, and...
16. You NEED to have enemies. If you have no enemies, you stand for nothing.
17. My favorite music is the kind that MAKES you move, usually funk based, and YES I like disco, but I'm pretty picky about which songs.
18. You don't need most of the rules people think you need when raising young children.
19. I am hauling out the turntable again and buying some vinyl---it is aural Nirvana, even if you're not listening to the grunge band.
20. The fact that Scripture has always been translated in a patriarchal society has really messed things up for women.
21. I believe in polygamy. I think I need about 5 brother-husbands to wait on me and do the housework and laundry and such.
22. If you think the previous comment means that my marriage is in trouble, you probably shouldn't read my blogs. You are clearly not getting it. Refer to #7.
23. If you have a health problem, you should NEVER give up on finding a treatment-- took me almost 20 years for a proper diagnosis of MPS. DON'T GIVE UP
24. I am the same person I was when I was a kid, you change less in life than you may think.
25. Some of my friends I only talk to on Facebook are PRICELESS.
26. Having been through hell really helps when you sing the blues. Or sing anything else, it just makes everything so gritty and real...
27. which is why Miley Cyrus sucks.
28. Being free of controllers---including church and pastoral control---is absolutely imperative to having an abundant and joyful life. This was the key to escaping depression for me.
29. I am a good writer, singer, and leader; and it is okay for me to know and say that. What are YOU? It's important to find out, then be confident in who you are.
30. Relationship and love is paramount, especially with God.
31. Focusing on your life direction and purpose is worth it, even if the dishes and laundry pile up in the process.
32. It is perfectly ok for people to remain single and/or childless, LEAVE THEM THE HECK ALONE!!!!
33. Older people tell their story and attitude by the lines in their face.
34. I am really surprised that you have read this far.
35. "Goth" and "Emo" kids are deeper than those who don't know what a dark thought is.
36. I have an intense connection with friends who have been through horrific despair, some to the point of being suicidal. These are some of the deepest people I know, and I love their depth.
37. There is nothing fun about fundamentalism. It strips personality away, leaving cookie-cutter images that no longer are colorful or interesting enough to accomplish much in this world. Look at the world-changers throughout history... how many were fundamentalists in their belief system? Progress is the result of change, and fundamentalism is its antithesis.
38. It is well worth studying the principles of power and war, even if you are a total peacemaker. If you stand for anything at all, some of these tactics will be used against you whether you like it or not, and you will need to know how to defend yourself.
39. ALWAYS attempt to stop abuse when you see it. If compliants never stand up to abusers, it just continues.....
40. Your life belongs to YOU- do not let others run it for you.
and finally,
41. BE YOURSELF. Not a sanitized version of yourself, but the you that you WANT to be, with it's warts and beauty, loud or quietness, nonconformity or OCD, neuroses or levelheadedness, tall, short, fat, skinny, obnoxious, reserved, whatever you are THAT IS YOU and don't change it!
SO. There's my 41 thoughts, now can I hear yours?
Presenting Sirvio's unauthorized commentary on the above post:
ReplyDelete1. Your writing style is immaterial if you're not a good writer. Ending sentences without a preposition can be awkward, but it also shows a level of respect for the reading audience. That said, there are times when it's just too awkward to hold fast to the rule.
1a. If you can't use the right homophones in the right places, you're not a good writer. The same axiom applies to the extraneous usage of apostrophe's.
5. Sushi is just not my thing. I just can't get into it. But, as long as we're opening up song exegesis--#11--'Turning Japanese' is allegedly (and probably) about masturbation. So, um, 'sushi' is not my thing.
6-8. Yes, and amen.
11. Ditto.
13. Like most fundamentally insecure people, try disagreeing with their life choices. Few (and this is an inclusive statement) will have the nerve and integrity to maintain that kind of serenity in the face of existential challenge to their raison d'etre.
14. Bulimia is listening to Top-40 radio. Selah.
17. Top-40 radio can also be very useful when constipated. It makes me move, that's for sure.
19. Vinyl is awesome, but overpriced because it made the hipster comeback. I trust Mike has enough love for audio to rig that turntable up to a head unit worthy to take on vinyl. I would place a small bet that you guys might have some McIntosh around the house. Just a hunch.
20. That's not all! Much of scripture has been redacted to leave the women out entirely.
20a.On an unrelated note, Tertullian was a complete douchebag.
22. But this is what it means to take the Bible literally! Man-harem!
24. I actually disagree with this, most kids are idiots, and I know this because I was a complete idiot. In fact, I believe I still am.
25. aw, shucks gee golly willikers!
/blushes
//stuffs hands in pockets
///kicks dirt
26. The blues are the greatest singularly American musical artform. There shall be no debate about this.
27. Hey-O!
28. The ColecoVision controller cries once again.
33. What gets me are people who are in their 20s and are already showing lines and wrinkles. Either they've torched their bodies or they've had the crap kicked out of them. For the former, I have pity. For the latter, I sympathize.
35. I call shenanigans. 'emo' or 'goth' kids are no more deep than anyone else. Different does not necessarily mean insightful. Rebellion is the new conformity. The only thing that has changed is the gender exclusivity of eyeliner and skinny jeans.
36. Much more valid point. Makes you wonder why Christians are generally so unserious about such matters. You just need some Jesus! You have no fruit of the Spirit, there's no joy or peace, you need to have a talk with a brother or sister about the Loooooord. Luya!
38. Absolutely. Sometimes, personal stances must be surrendered. Sometimes, the arse must get kicked.
41. You can never be unique, but you can be yourself.
NICE "8rent" and nice critique. I know about the "turning Japanese" song, just didn't think anyone else would. Heck, I'm surprised anyone reads my stuff at all! Anyways, didn't mean it THAT way... Your comment on #1 I did not get the second part of. (HA!) And Tertullian is far from the only douchebag....how about a blog on douchebags through the ages?
ReplyDeleteAnd, BTW.
How's your walk with the Lord?
Oh and I didn't mean the "Japanese" comment THAT way. I swear. Still see jes fine.
ReplyDelete